Thursday, June 27, 2013

Lean on me - I'll be your friend - I'll help you carry on

The Hand
So yesterday was a schmoobly about RadLad and his awesomeness.
I also have an A-MA-ZING group of friends I can rely on.
Niki Baker told me once that you can count your true friends on one hand. People come and go but there are five people who are constant in your life. So I am going to tell you about my five and then quite a few more.
My middle finger is NIki Baker. She is ALWAYS and I mean ALWAYS there to talk to. She’s not one of those, call me anytime people who never pick up the phone when you call them. No, friends, she always picks up. It’s 2am and I can’t sleep because of stupid drama headspace, Niki is there. Life is falling apart, she’s there. I fall in love, she’s there. I find out I have cancer… she’s there. She is far from me and I don’t get to ‘see’ her as much as I should.  But she’s always THERE. She made me a pillow for when I go to chemo. It has a hand on it. On the middle finger of that hand is a ribbon. That pillow goes with me to chemo and I hold on to it tightly. I do not tell her enough but I love her. She is my family. She is forever a friend. I am so lucky to have her.
My pointer finger is Brittney Boswell. She keeps my ass in line.  She points me away from trouble. She points me to the right choice. She also kicks my ass. She’s been a constant support since I met her. (She made me cry the first time I decided to be brave enough and introduce myself to the sparkle in the room.) But, man, she’s got my back. She’s closer on my back then my bra. If she could hold my sword and shield while I fought this stupid cancer; she would. She keeps me from working too hard. She keeps my mind on the fight and what is actually important in this, and many, aspects. She helps me keep my body nourished. Even if she does not agree with my decisions, she stands by me when I make them. She is my sister.
My thumb is SAPA. I am cheating here and including a while group of people, :-P .  The reason for this is that no matter how the group changes and no matter my ability to be full-time, part-time or just showing up.. they are there giving me the thumbs up. Entire 140+ members of cast present plus previous cast members. I have the largest group of the prettiest cheerleaders ever. Take that, Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders. We can dance, sing, wrestle, fight with weapons. We do all these things together while being FABULOUS! They are my supporters, protectors and a group of the best huggers ever. They all know how to give a real hug. Not those half assed ones where you feel like you have cooties. But the ones where they squeeze you so hard that you feel like your insides will fall out. They found out that I was not supposed to be anywhere near site because of my immune system and I immediately had people offering to guard me so people would be prevented from touching me. And hand sanitizer and hankies.. And even offers to pay for my scooter when I was too weak to walk.
My pinky is Mick Moreau. Holy cow. I wasn’t expecting this one. We have not been particularly close in the past but in the past year I have learned a lot about him and him me. I know I can tell him anything and not be judged.  His life has ups and downs at about the same time mine does. I always feel like I’m on a roller coaster with him. We are holding hands, laughing and screaming the entire time. He’s been my partner in a lot of things the last year and especially the last few months: Never taking sides, being understanding and compassionate. He probably has no idea he’s a part of my inner circle.
My ‘ring’ finger belongs to my parents and RadLad. That finger is a direct line to my heart. Radlad had an entire while blog for him so you all know why. My mom is always there for me. She tries super hard to not be too much of a Mom. I can talk to her (and have always been able to talk to her) about everything. My Dad and I have never been super close but since this whole cancer crap, we have gotten closer. It has been super nice to have both parents in my life. Many of my friends have lost a parent or both. I am super lucky to have both parents still alive and both active in my life.
All of these people have one thing in common. They are not afraid to be honest with me and I can be honest with them. I cry. I talk out the stupid headspace that we all have. And shit, we’ve had disagreements. Here we are. Still friends.
True friends have troubles. True friends argue. True friends make up. True friends are love.
 Megan Hartman – She is always there. I vent, I rant, I rave, I cry, I laugh. She pats me on the head and kicks me in the ass. Always a friendship that exists even when I forget or have the stupid.
Sharon Sullivan – I can’t say we have ever had an argument but I am sure I’ve made some decisions she’s shaken her head at me for. She has NEVER judged me. HOLY CRAP is she an amazing woman that I admire. An inspiration for me and many other people.
Paul & Eris – I can’t even begin to list the amazing things they have done for me. They are great friends to both Radlad and I. Super supportive, friendly as hell… and apparently I mean a little to them ;D.
Pat & Lisha – At least once a week, or more, I hear from the both of them. I am blessed. They are truly kind people with a sense of humor that keeps me on my toes.
Matt & Jessica – Both people I hear from at least once a week. Neither is afraid to tell me exactly what they think. Always there with a kind word, a hug or just to kick my ass. Kind words are not always what is needed and holy cow can they tell me the truth.
Chris – We are still friends, be shocked.  
Shannon & Allen – I have never had people come through for me in my life like these two. Their strength and kindness was leant to me and I will repay the favor.
Leah & Patrick & Dana – Keeping my mental ‘holy crap I’m so ugly’ at bay. Three people that make me feel beautiful by just existing in my world. They keep my mental spirits up.
****This is in no way a list of everyone who has helped me. These are the people on my hand(s) who can be interchanged. I know I could call upon more people than named here and any of you would come help me. I love you all dearly.

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