Come on get down with the sickness

So Friday the 7^th was my 5^th chemo treatment and it’s just taking me this long to tell you about it.

 

My chemo has six stages, two for each stage = 12 treatments. I just started stage 3 and it’s kicking..my..ass.

 

Now is the time when ALL of the things they warned me about started happening: ALL AT ONCE.

 

Hunger? What’s that. My need/want to eat is gone. When I do want to eat, all I want is bread and soup. I lost 10 of the 15 pounds I gained.

 

I’m sick to my stomach all the time. I want to spew chunks at the thought of eating some foods. And I have been known to spew chunks after everything I eat, no matter what it is.

 

I shaved my head and it’s hardly growing back. Neither does the hair on my legs or my eyebrows.

 

I am tried all the time. When I have a not tired day, I try to do everything and I end up exhausting myself so I can’t even move. RadLal had to carry me from one chair to another so I could eat dinner. And I hardly ate anything.

 

Everything tastes weird. Metallic. Even chocolate. Boo.

 

All I want to do is lay about and do nothing but I end up sleeping.. So I feel like a lazy sloth who doesn’t contribute to life. Soooo I work myself harder and get more tired. The vicious circle.

 

Chemo is again this Friday and I’m all out of meds.. so if you wanna donate a little to the fund, you can.. There is a link on the right ---à

 

I’m doing ok. My wigs are hot and I had to take it off yesterday while at breakfast. I cried, a lot. No one seemed to notice, or care. EXCEPT ME.

 

It’s still traumatic that I have stage 4 cancer and I’m handling everything like a trooper. I’m pretty proud of how strong I have been.  Even in my emo crying moments, I stop crying, shake my head and move on. I have a pretty amazing support system. So that really helps.

 

I’m coming up on my halfway through chemo this Friday or appointment 6 of 12. Then the following weekend there is a halfway through chemo party. I’m super excited to be halfway through the treatments.. I hope I can make it all the way through the party. Since I just want to sleep. Motivation to do anything sucks!!

 

Anyway! I love you guys!

 

Thanks for reading my babble today.