Chemotherapy is a mystery
to most people. Since I LOVE to share my story and what it’s like to be me, I’ll
share what a chemotherapy treatment is like for a stage four Hodgkins Lymphoma
patient.
So every two weeks I go
see the oncologist. Friday afternoons are my day. They give you a time to get
there. So like most doctor’s visits you get there on time and you WAIT.
First they call you in to
get blood work done. This is my favorite part. I love Leucretia. I don’t have
to tell her a thing. She doesn’t say , “1, 2, 3” anymore. She just pokes me,
covers me with the coolest bandages (usually dinosaurs or pink hearts. I had to
settle for plain purple this past week. BOO!)
Next you go back out to
the lobby. Guess what happens? You wait. This is usually the part where Rad Lad and I
visit Miss Leslie (the most helpful
person ever who has the same thing I do) and entertain the people also waiting
in the lobby. Most people in that lobby are older. I am young and purple Mohawk
or bald and full of smiles. Even under my mask. I SMILE. Screw you cancer!
So you keep waiting and
eventually they call you back to see the doctor. The doctor tells me the same
thing every week. Kari, your white blood cell count is low. This is called Neutropenia.( Neutrophils usually make up 50-70%
of circulating white blood cells and serve as the primary defense
against infections
by destroying bacteria
in the blood.
Hence, patients with neutropenia are more susceptible to bacterial infections
and, without prompt medical attention, the condition may become
life-threatening (neutropenic sepsis).
You have to be really careful. Wear your mask. Temperature above 100
degrees, give us a call. Blah blah blah. It’s actually REALLY f’n serious. I have epic masks that I have blinged
out. But that’s a story for another blog.
SOOOOO then they send you
to the chemo room. Luckily my chemo room is bright! There is light and the
nurses are super friendly. I sit in the same chair neat the corner. I have
dubbed it the throne. Normally when I sit and start talking, people want to
come sit near me. So I get to hold court and share cancer stories. And you WAIT…
Even though you have an
appointment, they don’t call for the drugs until you get there and are in your
chair.
First they numb the area
with a special canned air. Then they stab me in the port. OMG scary big needle.
I still have to have my hand held and try not to cry. Then they clean out the
port. This leaves this HORRIBLE taste in your mouth BUT I have these awesome lozenges
I suck on that help that horrible taste.
Then they start
administering the nausea meds. There are three nausea meds (for now. There will
soon be more). This takes about an hour and a half. They are done via drip into
my port. With each change I get to taste the meds. It’s a strange and gross.
Next starts the
chemotherapy rounds. For Hodgkin’s Lymphoma they do ABDV chemotherapy. It’s
fairly typical and there are six cycles or two treatments of each cycle.. 12
treatments total.
First is A. It looks like
a giant needle. It bypasses the drip and goes directly into the port. This drug
is hard on your heart. This is why I should not get my heart rate above 130.
Apparently this is a bad thing.. AND ANOTHER THING THEY SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME. It causes nausea and can cause heart damage. This
is the red drug. It’s nicknamed “red devil” or “red death”. I call it, ‘the
stuff that makes my pee red’… it makes pee red. Pretty entertaining in chemo
when you hear a first timer say, ‘why is my pee red?’. I giggle. It’s
administered very, very slowly. It takes 30-45 minutes of a nurse slowly and
patiently administering the drug. Thank goodness I like my nurse. I even told
her what colors look good on her and she’s worn them ever since. She helps me
live, I help her get laid. Fair trade off, I say.
Then there’s a bit of a
break, more saline drip. Wait wait wait.
Then B (Bleomycin) comes about. It’s a nice little
bag. Takes about 45 minutes for it to drip into me. This one is hard on the
lungs. Also another reason I shouldn’t be running (AGAIN SHIT THEY SHOULD HAVE
TOLD ME). Anyway, I don’t think I’ll be scuba diving anytime soon so I should
be safe for a while. So you wait..
Then there’s another
break. More saline drip..
Then V (Vinblastine) is next. She’s another lovely little
needle that goes right into the port. Administered by the nurse.. very slowly.
This is the one that gives me the poops and makes me lose my hair. Stupid hair
killing bitch. As long as she kills the cancer.. I’ll be bald.
Then last but not least is Dacarbazine. She also
makes me poop and might make me sterile. This is an IV Drip bag. Takes about an
hour and a half.
Then she’s empty.. and you wait (unless it’s late
on Friday and the nurses want out). So they come disconnect you. Clean out your
port (EW EW EW). Pull out the needle. Put a band-aid over it. Slap you on the
ass and send you on your way. Sometimes even with Girl Scout cookies!!
She forgot to mention that trying to actually watch any type of TV show or movie will usually result in people interrupting you at least once every 10 minutes.
ReplyDeleteOther than that, wait, listen, wait, watch, wait, eat, wait, pee, wait, go get Chemogirl a drink or something to eat.
Love,
RadLad