It’s been a long road so
far and the road ahead is looking bumpy, scary and full of things ready to jump
out at me unexpectedly.
I am scared to death. I
won’t lie. Maybe I shouldn’t say death. I should just say I’m TERRIFIED.
I had my biopsy on Monday
to just verify that it was the same cancer and I had not upgraded to something
more (like lung cancer). Tuesday I had an MRI to verify that it had not spread
to my head. I have been having some headaches that have been leading to vision
loss in my left eye. So we are just making sure I haven’t fully over achieved
to a brain tumor on top of everything else.
This is what I know so
far.
1)
I have to have chemo. It will be worse. It will
be harder. I will be sick as hell.
2)
I will have to have bone marrow transplants.
3)
I will be in the hospital at some point
4)
I WILL Be out of work
5)
I WILL Be taking some classes to keep my brain
occupied
6)
I WILL Be on disability
7) Chris
has been nice enough to allow me to stay on his insurance, for now.
This is what I don’t
know.
I don’t know HOW MUCH
chemo or HOW MANY chemo appointments there will be.
I don’t know how much
bone marrow
I don’t know what type of
transplants for sure
I don’t know how long I
will be in the hospital
I have LTD & STD but
they pay SHIT. It won’t even cover my bills but it is SOMETHING.
I don’t know how long
Chris will let me stay.
I don’t know how I am
going to make ends meet.
I know everything will
work out. It always does. It will just be rough.
I have three people going
with me on Friday for the appointment so I should have plenty of company.
Things I am looking forward
to:
Halloween parties coming
up this weekend
Seeing Rocky
Pearl Jam concert in
November
Just when the air smooth’s
out, there is turbulence. I need a
break. I good one.
I will enjoy the small
things while they are still here
Let me know if Will and I can help with things...we may not have much, but we're pretty good at having shoulders to cry on, ears to vent into and he's great for being a punching bag when you just need to get out your frustrations.
ReplyDeleteI'm about to buy the hell out of some Scentsy.
ReplyDelete